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Why is it so easy for codependents to deny their feelings?
What does denial look like for codependents?
How can you identify if and when you are in denial and attune to yourself?
In this episode, we will be looking at patterns of denial in codependency. Denial is not just a river in Egypt! Get it, Da Nile? We will review a list of behaviors that codependents tend to use–consciously and unconsciously–to deny their feelings, thoughts, and needs. I open up about gaining the courage to “just say ‘no’” to potential guests for the podcast and how, due to my denial, it was hard! It’s hard to be aware of how you are feeling and be able to say that in the moment–but we are working towards it. We end with ways for you to start building that awareness within yourself so you don’t have to keep denying yourself, ya dummy! It’s a must-listen!
Helpful links:
http://www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing – check out The Confiding Codependummy for just $1 a day for the next month (it’s $30 total).
http://www.codependummy.com – check out the Self-Validation Challenge for free!
More deets on this week’s episode:
We start with a check-in as usual.
I then describe the 9 symptoms of denial as spelled out by Codependents Anonymous. How do you relate? Which stand out most to you:
Codependents…
Have difficulty identifying what they are feeling
Minimize, alter, or deny how they truly feel
Perceive themselves as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well-being of others
Lack empathy for the feelings and needs of others
Label others with their negative traits
Think they can take care of themselves without any help from others
Mask pain in various ways such as anger, humor, or isolation
Express negativity or aggression in indirect and passive ways
Do not recognize the unavailability of those people to whom they are attracted
I then share about ways I was in denial but practiced attunement during four interactions with potential guests on. the. podcast!
-Cool media therapist with too much back-and-forth correspondence
-the women’s mental health therapist who never mentioned codependency in her initial email
-the therapist who perceived me as “bored” in a recent episode interview
-the poor sound quality interview that had to be rescheduled
I still have yet to end an interview prematurely due to a poor fit, however, cancelling ahead of time due to a misalignment feels good!
For you:
How does denial show up in your own life?
Where does it come up the most: family, friends, work, partner?
What are the “costs” of remaining in denial? Do you lose money, time, miss out on opportunities or other relationships?
What would it be like to focus on self-attunement and do what you can to attune to rather than deny your feelings?
What’s one feeling you need to acknowledge this week to stop the pattern of denial in your life?
I love you. The end!
PLEASE R.R.S.S:
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If you’re needing more, get your copy of the confiding codependummy 30 days of journaling prompts for a less-codependent and more-conscious you! http://www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing
Self-Validation Challenge – free 30-day guide to providing yourself with all the validation you seek: http://www.codependummy.com
Also, if you are wanting to dive into your codependency deeper one-on-one, please email marissa@codependumy.com
Please rate, review, subscribe and share! Love you!
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