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-What is ‘self-ignoring,’ where does it come from, and how does it relate to codependency?
-In addition to self-ignoring, what does codependency look like in medical providers? (hint, Patient Satisfaction Comes First!)
-How can we slow down, focus on, and pay attention to our feelings in order to stop ignoring ourselves and start honoring our intuition?

Welcome to Episode 95! This week, we are graced with the presences of Djuna Osbourne, LCSW, to talk about her work with codependent medical providers. Djuna shares with us about the concept of self-ignoring and how integral it is to the development of our codependency since, early on, we learn to “ignore our alert system” while focusing on the needs of others. We discuss what codependency looks like in medical providers, both at work and home, and how the culture encourages such behavior. We conclude with ways Djuna addresses codependency in her clients using ISTDP: Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy. It’s a must-listen!

More on this episode’s guest:

Djuna Osborne is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in private practice in Roanoke, VA. She loves working with medical providers, other therapists, and entrepreneurs to support their own healing so they can in turn support others in the work that they do. She specializes in helping clients connect to the most important relationship of all – that which they have with themselves, so that they can feel confident, secure, and happy.

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More deets on the episode:

We begin with hearing Djuna’s definition of codependency and experiences of it from her own life (“…not just one but two abusive relationships.”). She takes time to help us understand the concept of ‘self-ignoring,’ and how that starts in childhood, is reinforced throughout our lives, and the long-term consequences of ignoring our “internal alert system.”

We then hear about Djuna’s work with medical providers and ways she has observed codependent behaviors in their personal and professional lives. She describes how they often prioritize patient satisfaction in exchange for speaking up or pushing back. I ask about how our culture, medical institutions, and the hierarchy in the field encourage and enable codependent behaviors in medical providers. Djuna expands on how, through incentives, procedures, reputation, and status, they often stay stuck in codependent patterns at work.

Djuna provides an overview of ISTDP, Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy, and the steps she takes with her patients to help them address the misery and lack of fulfillment in their lives. “The first thing I ask is ‘What is the problem you’d like my help with?” From there, she makes a very focused and precise effort to help her clients investigate their experiences to get in touch with their defenses, patterns, mechanisms, and feelings.

We end with Djuna answering how and why our relationship with ourselves is THE most important relationship.

Questions for you:
What came up for you as you heard Djuna’s definition of codependency?
How do you relate to her description of ‘self-ignoring?’
Whether or not you are a medical provider, how do you relate to the codependent behaviors in doctors that Djuna describes?
How can you take more time to slow down, focus in on, and explore a “small” experience or interaction that is taking up a “big” amount of space in your body and mind?
What can you do to prioritize your relationship with yourself as THE most important relationship?

Thank you for coming on Djuna!

Thank you, dear listener, for listening!
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