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-How can codependency delay the grieving process?
-What are the common behaviors of codependents going through grief?
-Why do we need to be mindful and not delay the grief process? What’s the worst that can happen?
Welcome to Episode 125! This week, I had the pleasure of talking with Kayla Nettleton, LCSW, about codependency and grief. Kayla opens up about her codependency and how it delayed the grief process after the loss of her father. Through sharing her experience, Kayla highlights the common behaviors of codependents who engage in behaviors of people-pleasing and self-sacrifice to “help others,” but, unfortunately, it delays their own grieving after a loss. Kayla describes the consequences of delaying the grief process and suggests steps we can take to move forward if and when we are grieving. It’s a must-listen!
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More on this week’s guest:
Kayla Nettleton is a Licensed Clinical Social Wworker based in Texas. Kayla loves working with overwhelmed/stressed out women looking to find balance in their life. She also enjoys working with couples looking to get out of a rut. Some of her favorite things include spending time with family and friends, traveling and listening to inspiring podcasts.
More deets on this week’s episode:
Kayla defines codependency as always wanting or willing to give in relationships and rarely wanting to receive. She describes how codependents often try to be the “hero” as a consequence to how they were raised to offer but not ask for help. She opens up about codependency in her own life and how it led to a pattern where she always wanted her friends to come to her but she never sought their help.
We turn our focus to grief and codependency. What is grief? The journey after losing a loved one/someone who meant a lot to you. The grieving process after the loss can be stalled by codependency since, as demonstrated by Kayla’s experience, since we dive into patterns that inhibit our own grief.
Kayla recalls how she felt needed by her mother, took it upon herself to organize funeral services, and put her grief aside. Kayla shares how she often sees this type of behavior in her client going through the grief process as well as veterans, couples, etc. The consequences of these behaviors leads to anger, resentment, outbursts, and the grief coming up at inappropriate times with inappropriate people.
The initial steps Kayla suggests to resolve grief involves going to therapy, sharing our feelings, asking for help, and being more honest.
Thanks for coming on Kayla! And thank you for listening, my dear listener!
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