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-What happens when your codependent spouse becomes your codependent ex-spouse?

-In relationships, how can we distinguish “codependency” from “healthy caretaking?”

-Perfectionism, people-pleasing, and codependency are the “triplets of codependency.” How are they connected and what can we do to move towards the “triplets of interdependency?”

In this week’s episode, I had the pleasure of interviewing Karen McMahon, a Certified Relationship and Divorce Coach, about the intricacies of codependency in divorcees. What happens when we go from a codependent couple to codependent exes? Karen shares with us about the codependency she’s witnessed in her clients, how she coaches them to move past their codependent ways, and the initial steps she takes with them to practice awareness, acceptance, and action. It’s a must-listen!

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More on Karen:

Karen McMahon is a Certified Relationship and Divorce Coach and Founder of Journey Beyond Divorce. She began divorce coaching in 2010 after recognizing that the pain of her divorce led her on a transformational journey into an incredible new life. Karen leads a national team of divorce coaches in supporting men and women around the world to become calm, clear and confident as they navigate divorce. Karen is the host of the acclaimed Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast, co-author of ‘Stepping out of Chaos: Turning Pain to Possibility” and creator of JBD’s exclusive 12 Step Divorce Recovery Program.

Download Karen’s Free Divorce Survival Kit

Schedule a Free Rapid Relief Call

More deets on this week’s episode:

We begin by hearing about Karen’s definition of codependency: “those of us who put others’ needs before our own in an unhealthy way…we are striving to receive love and acknowledgment but we lose ourselves.”

Karen opens up about her codependency in her marriage. She describes ways she put the financial needs of her husband before her own. “No one was putting a gun to my head,” Karen shares, however, like most of us codependents, we act like we are being “forced.”

I then ask Karen about ways she witnesses codependent behaviors in the divorcees she coaches. She tells us how we can distinguish codependency versus healthy caretaking and how we start by “choosing” to care for others rather than feeling “forced.”

Karen describes the triplets of codependency: people-pleasing, perfectionism, and dependence then contrasts that with the triplets of codependency: respect, acceptance, and self-love.

Karen reveals an initial step she takes with her clients to help them develop interdependence: awareness, acceptance, then take action. We apply it to a recent codependummy moment from my therapy session! Karen evidently is an amazing coach so be sure to reach out to her if this resonates!

Questions for you:

What came up while you heard Karen define codependency? Do you lose yourself in your codependency?
How did you relate to Karen’s codependent experiences with her ex-husband?
What’s happened to your codependency with another when a relationship ends? Are you cured or have you simply become codependent on someone else?
How can you practice healthy caretaking as opposed to codependency?
What would awareness, acceptance, and taking action look like in your life this week?
Thank you for listening!

Marissa’s info:

@therapywithmarissa on IG

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