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-What is mansplaining and how does may it contribute to our codependency?
-How does perceiving ourselves through a male’s perspective cause us to lose self-compassion and self-tenderness when we need that the most?
-Why is it more difficult for women in a patriarchal society to cultivate personal authority? And easier to develop into codependents?

Welcome to episode 90! In this episode, we discuss how, throughout my life, men mansplained to me and why that has contributed to my codependency. You’ll learn some new terms terms to add to a discussion on how a male’s perspective on our behavior as codependents is not always accurate, true, or helpful. With the help of a 15th-century poem and the work of two psychotherapists, we unpack what it is that women want and why sexism, objectification and other aspects of our patriarchal society inhibit that. It’s a thought-provoking episode on how our role as women in society relate to our codependency in our daily lives.

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More deets on the episode:

We begin with our check in then shift to defining some key terms with the help of Polly Young-Eisendrath and Florence Wiedemann and their book Female Authority: Empowering Women Through Psychotherapy.

Mansplain: (of a man) explain (something) to someone, typically a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing.

Patriarchy: a system of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it.

Androcentricism: focused or centered on men; dominated by or emphasizing masculine interests or a masculine point of view; seeing the world from the male perspective.

Personal authority: the ability to validate one’s own thoughts and actions as good and true. It develops gradually as others recognize and communicate the value of one’s ideas and contributions, both for the family and for the larger social group (synonyms include sovereignty).

I then read to you the story of Sir Gawain and the Lady Ragnell from the 15th century.

I’m curious what came up for you while I read this tale?

Two challenges for you:
How can you be your own Sir Gawain?

How can you find one Sir Gawain in your life?

We conclude with an anecdote from my life when I asked my dad what to do with my discomfort towards an older male. He mansplained to me and I was left powerless.

This connection between codependency and our role as women is something I plan to talk about more and more.

Your homework:
-be more thoughtful/conscious about how androcentrism impacts how you perceive yourself
-try to cultivate personal authority by being Sir Gawain to yourself and finding one Sir Gawain in your life (it could be a woman–doesn’t have to be a man)
-try to play with a Gynocentric view of the world

Thanks for listening!

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See you next week!

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