In Part I, we discussed how you have been raised to be codependent.

In Part II, we looked at how you have been reinforced to put the needs of others above your own.

In Part III, we will cover how you have been REWARDED to put the needs of others above your own. You were set up sis to be codependent through the advantages, benefits, and opportunities you got thanks to working so hard to get everyone’s attention, affection, and approval!

Be sure to listen to Part I and Part II to hear about ways you have been raised and reinforced to be codependent!

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In This Podcast episode:

Marissa walks through ways you have benefited from, gained advantage, and received opportunities thanks to putting the needs of others above your own.
You’ll get details and examples to help you build awareness of how you have been rewarded for being a codependummy…and thus, set up to neglect yourself while prioritizing everyone else.
You’re invited to reflect and think critically about the messages you received from others about what it meant when you were self-sacrificing and prioritized others above yourself. You were taught it was a good thing because you were rewarded for it!
We start to normalize rather than pathologize your codependency–since you were set up to be this way. You are not crazy!
Helpful links:

The Benefits of Codependency


The High Functioning Codependent

Theodore Millon Article on Codependency

The Codependent Friendship

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What is codependency and how does it manifest other ways? In this episode, we look at how you may have been codependent in your relationships with other young women. From the framework of Theodore Millon, who in 1981, wrote that one trait of codependency is a need for “a stronger, nurturing figure and without one, they feel anxiously helpless. They’re often conciliatory, placating, and self-sacrificing.”

How has your codependency shown up in your friendships as a little girl, adolescent, tween, teen, and young women? And how have you been rewarded to be so giving, self-sacrificing, available in these friendship?

Marissa provides real-life examples of ways she was rewarded to be codependent by “winning friends and influencing people” through her giving, pleasing, and placating stance in relation to others. She recalls friendships from high school, college, and career that were all codependent.

Do you remember times when you were rewarded for being a nurturing figure in your friendships? What did your parents and other friends teach you about friendships and your role in them?

Ask yourself: What were your friendships like as a girl, adolescent and young women? Have you been the giver or receiver most of the time? How have you been codependent in your friendships?

Also, think about how you can be codependent in some relationships while independent in other one’s. How do you see your codependency with family compared to friends? With friends compared to coworkers?

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