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-What are the root causes of codependency?

-How do the root causes of codependency show up in our lives?

-Where do we begin if we want to get to the root causes and rebuild from there?

Welcome to Episode 131! This week, we are graced with the presence of Lacey Morris, LMFT, for a deep dive into the root causes of codependency. Lacey opens up with us about codependency in her own life and her own root causes that led her to developing a love addiction. Lacey describes the root causes of codependency, ways it shows up in our adult lives, and how it reflects an insecure attachment with others–and OURSELVES! Lacey explains how our attachment style is reflected in our relationship with ourself and what we can do to cultivate a secure self-attachment. We conclude with Lacey’s hope and insight on how she helps her clients find a sense of wholeness within. It’s a must-listen!

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More on this week’s guest:

Lacey Morris is a LMFT therapist. One of her passions and specialities is helping others break patterns of codependency and find a secure bond within themselves. This changes one from the inside out and helps one finally find true freedom and joy.

More deets on the episode:

We begin with hearing Lacey’s definition of codependency: where one has too much dependency on others and we abandon ourselves in our relationships. Lacey adds how codependents often are responsible for others’ emotions, seek approval from others, and lose themselves in the process.

We hear about Lacey’s experiences of codependency from her own life, including how she lost her sense of self, lived off “bread crumbs” in her relationships and had little relational nourishment, and formed a love addiction. She used to believe that if she could heal her former partners, then they would love her. This all came to a halt when she had a wake-up call, began her journey to understand her own codependency, and cultivated a sense of worthiness, wholeness, and self-love.

Lacey lists the common root causes of codependency: unresolved emotions from childhood, unmet needs from when we were young, childhood trauma, negative early experiences that led us to over-focus on the needs of others in an attempt to meet our own.

And what happens when these roots grow as we get older? The root causes of codependency show up in our romantic relationships, familial relationships, friendships, and professional relationships. Lacey details a few examples for the ways the root causes show up in our adulthood. Can you relate?

We then dialogue about how codependents often have an insecure attachment with others AND THEMSELVES! Yes, we constantly need reassurance, validation, approval, and love from others. Yes, we are anxious in relationship, worry about rejection/abandonment, and struggle to feel connected. And yes, we may become suicidal when our relationship are going poorly or when we lose them. ALSO, we are insecure with our relationships with ourselves since we often abandon, reject, and avoid ourselves.

Lacey suggests 3 ways to begin to form a strong attachment with ourselves: explore the root causes of our codependency: get specific on our relative experience, follow the intricate process in addition to therapy, and re-parent ourselves. This path will lead us to a secure attachment with ourselves.

Thanks for coming on Lacey! And thank you for listening, my dear listener!


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