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-Why do overachieving codependents find it so hard to practice self-care?

-How can cooking help one combat their codependency and nourish themselves?

-What are the initial steps we can take to focus our attention on self-nourishment?

Welcome to Episode 138! This week, I sat down with Kristin Tand, counselor and cooking coach, to explore the magical world of cooking and how it fosters self-nourishment. Kristin describes how overachieving codependents often over-function in their professional lives which leads to them neglecting self-care in their personal ones. We investigate the long-term impact of self-neglect and how cooking can help us bring us back to our bodies. Kristin details the benefits of cooking and how she helps her clients take the initial steps to set time aside to prepare, cook, and serve themselves. It’s a must-listen!

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Kristin Tand is a mental health counselor who also loves to cook. She is passionate about helping overwhelmed adults slow down the hustle for perfection and start nourishing themselves in the kitchen. Kristin teaches tips and tricks to get out of your head and into your body, using cooking as a vehicle for living a richer life–while also taking the intimidation factor out of how to cook.

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We begin with hearing Kristin’s definition of codependency: an adaptive strategy (often in childhood) used to get your needs met that then becomes unadaptive (often in adulthood). Kristin shares her child development perspective and how codependency often stems from intelligent and strategic behaviors to get one’s needs met.
Kristin opens up about codependency from her own life, from early dating experiences with her husband to promotions at work thanks to her overachieving tendencies. Her codependency led to her developing fatigue, chronic pain, and eventually quitting her former position to start her own business.

We shift focus to codependency, self-care, and self-nourishment. Kristin highlights the common consequences of self-neglect, including fatigue, chronic pain, burnout, shame and imposter syndrome, never feeling satisfied, anxiety, and fear. If one is codependent in their professional life, they may even develop an unhealthy reliance on their partners to take care of household tasks.

And how might cooking combat the self-neglect inherent in codependency? Kristin emphasizes how eating is nourishment and how it is a process of slowing down, taking time to make what you want, tap into your 5 senses, get back in your body, and re-parent yourself. Wow!

And how does one begin to self-nourish through cooking? Kristin describes her two initial steps: 1) awareness and understanding; and 2) taking small steps. Kristin lists the common objections she hears from her clients when it comes to cooking (failure, shame, limited time, etc.) and how she engages in reflective questioning to help them identify the barriers and make changes in order to start small–like cooking one meal a month. She also notes how she combats codependency from her clients to her by helping them identify their motives: are they looking for a gold star or nourishing themselves.

Thanks for coming on Kristin! And thank you for listening, my dear listener!
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