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-Why is discernment such a foreign concept to codependents?
-How can practicing proper discernment save your life?
-What are the 10 steps to develop discernment?
Thank you for your support and welcome to episode 89! This week, we are taking a deep-dive into the practice of discernment: the ability to judge well. I will share with you what discernment means and why it’s such a foreign concepts to codependents like us. You’ll hear me argue for why you need to develop discernment in your own life, including how, without it, we end up unhappy and unsafe. We finish with a detailed guide to the 10 steps to developing discernment that was shared with me from a mentor. Your understanding of proper and improper discernment will be bolstered thanks to my handy sharing of two anecdotes from my own life. You’ll leave the episode with clarity on how to practice discernment and integrate it in your own life stat!
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More deets on the episode:
We start with the definition of discernment: (noun) the ability to judge well. Synonyms include: sensitivity, awareness, wisdom, and sagacity. For example, “Her lack of discernment led to her disastrous choice of dating partners.”
We are using a list of ways to develop discernment that was created by Dr. Jim Clarke.
4 reasons why codependummies need to develop discernment:
-We don’t have it
-We do what others want (or what we think they want) and end up unhappy
-Third reason we need discernment
-We need to develop our ability to trust ourselves
I then share an anecdote where I participated in a series of duathons (biathalons?) all because someone else told me I should do it! Overall it was no good! Don’t follow what I did–save yourselves!
10 ways to practice developing discernment when presented with a choice (it could be big or small since something small to others can be big to you):
Spend time in silent prayer or listening heart.
Spend time journaling/writing. What are the pros and cons? Advantages and disadvantages?
Engage with music, art, poetry, and other content (what comes up for you?).
Reflect in nature – get some fresh air and intentionally use that time to explore your options.
Seek guidance through your dreams.
Talk to trusted others, especially those who have had a similar experience.
Meditate with imagination.
Lean into your intuition – what does your inner sense say?
Take all the time you need to trust your gut
That my friends, if practiced regularly, will deliver you the ability to discern what is best for you.
We conclude with a short anecdote on a decision where I practiced these 10 steps and arrived at a conclusion that was best for me–not the best-looking but best for me.
Like Father Jim said to me: proper discernment can save your life.
Thanks for listening!
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