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-How was Listener DA raised, reinforced, and rewarded to put the needs of others above her own? And how has that left her exhausted, exasperated, and enveloped in sh*t relationships?

-In what ways has DA’s codependent past with her family turned into current issues in her social and professional life?

-What steps can DA start to take to start validating herself through practicing discernment?

In this episode, we are back with the beloved segment, The Codependummy Dilemma! Listener AV reached out and we sat down to hear: how was she raised/reinforced/rewarded for putting the needs of others above her own AND how she’s exhausted/exasperated/enveloped in crap relationships. I then coach her through an area in her life where’s she’s being a codependummy/playing small/needing to take up space! You’ll hear us work together and collaborate on how she can discern whether her new job is the best fit for her and what she can do to discover more options besides the extremes of quitting or staying-forever-without-making-any-changes.
Helpful links:
Email to come on for The Codependummy Dilemma! – check out The Confiding Codependummy for just $1 a day for the next month (it’s $30 total). – check out the Self-Validation Challenge for free! – help support the show via a one-time donation via secure Paypal link!
More deets on this week’s episode:
We begin, per usual, with two typical questions:

How has DA been raised, reinforced, and rewarded for putting the needs of others above her own?

And how is DA now exhausted, exasperated, and enveloped in sh*t relationships, including the one she has with herself?

DA describes aspects of her childhood, including relationships with her mother, father, older sister, and older brother. Thanks to “not being attached” to herself, she shares how she was attached to others and made to believe that her opinions/needs did not matter.

I then ask DA to reflect on an area in her life where she’s currently playing small and wanting to take up space. We hear about her brand new position at work and the observations she’s already made about her boss AND how she interacts with her boss. We discuss ways she used to act at work thanks to her codependency and why she doesn’t want to do that at her new position.

We talk through steps to help her discern what is best for her:

Step 1: Awareness. DA is already showing conscious awareness of her past patterns and thankfully is hoping to engage with others and herself differently at work.

Step 2: Decide. In one month, after a total of four weeks, DA is going to take time to reflect, ponder, and be curious about how work is going. She’ll weigh how her new position is impacting her physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, financially, etc. After reflecting, she can then discern what she senses is best: stay, go, balance her new job with her own business, etc. Remember girl, we always have options!

Step 3: Validate what she discerns and move forward with that! DA committed to update me in a month to let us know how she’s doing.

Thank you for coming on DA! You are a brave and loyal listener! Thank you!
We need more ratings on Spotify! Thank you in advance!
If you’re needing more than just these episodes to combat codependency in your life, here are some additional options and resources:
-Get The Confiding Codependummy: 30 days of Journaling Prompts for a less-codependent and more-conscious you!
-The Self-Validation Challenge – free 30-day guide to providing yourself with all the validation you seek:
-If you are wanting to dive into your codependency deeper one-on-one like the coaching you heard in this episode, please email
Support the show via a one-time secure donation:
I will see you all next week!

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