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-How does codependency contribute to burnout in therapists?
-What is ‘misattunement’ and how can we better understand it’s impact during our childhood?
-Why is community so fundamental in healing our codependency?
Welcome to Episode 118! This week, we are greeted with the presence of Monica Helview, LMFT, to discuss burn out in therapists. Monica describes what codependency looks like in overworked and burnt out professionals: contorting, insecurity, self-doubt, and maintaining a facade of competence. We explore how our experiences in childhood and being over-attuned to others may make us more vulnerable to burnout as working adults. Monica emphasizes how having a community is fundamental in our healing and offers ways we can start to form our own. We conclude with hearing some tips from Monica on how to address burnout in our lives. It’s a must-listen!
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More on this week’s guest:
Monica Helvie is an LMFT and trauma coach for audacious, overworked and burned out therapists. She helps her clients find their inner badass again with insight and connection. She uses trauma informed, body based interventions to help healers break through their burnout and achieve authentic alignment with their best self.
Freebie from Monica: Core Wounds Workbook → https://monica-helvie-s-school.teachable.com/p/released-core-wounds-workbook
More deets on the episode:
We begin with hearing Monica’s definition of codependency: when an individual has learned it’s safer to attune to the needs of others. Codependents often experience a lot of guilt and shame in response to their needs not being met and then internally make meaning out of it. Monica describes misattunement and how, unfortunately, codependents often develop an internal perception of what they have to do to survive where they minimze their needs.
Monica shares with us about codependency in her own life and ways she overattuned to her parents. In her effort to develop safety, awareness, and repair in her relationships, she created a template for how to interact with others and then took that to everyone in adulthood. She turned into the hero, the fixer, the competent one.
We shift to Monica’s specialty: working with burnt out therapists. Monica lists the common traits: contorting, guilt, shame, self-doubt, insecurity, isolation, and projecting resilience/independence/competence. These traist then often contribute to burnout, exhaustion, imposter syndrome, and isolation.
How does Monica help therapists combat burnout and find their inner badass again? Monica emphasizes how therapists have a deep craving for connection and creativity. In order to help them be their authentic and honest self, she empowers them to stop settling for bad work environments. She helps them cultivate radical responsibility, get in touch with their values, and ask the big question: what do I want for me? She offers a community to her clients and tells us why and how we can start to cultivate our own community.
Thanks for coming Monica! And thank you for being here dear listener!
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-The Self-Validation Challenge – free 30-day guide to providing yourself with all the validation you seek: http://www.codependummy.com/challenge
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