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-What is true intimacy?

-How does codependency inhibit us from experiencing true intimacy with ourselves and others?

-When we have a feeling, what are the four steps we can take to truly feel them?

In this week’s episode, we have a truly intimate discussion with Melisa Keenan, intimacy coach, about her healing journey from codependency and coaching with high-powered businesswomen. Melisa opens up about codependent relationships in her life and how, after years of working on herself, she’s been able to transform her codependent loneliness into true intimacy with others (including herself!). We conclude with Melisa walking Marissa through her four-step process to help her clients feel her feelings–it’s powerful and a must-listen!

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Melisa Keenan is a USA Today Bestselling Author and CEO of a multi-6-figure international intimacy coaching company, supporting high-level businesswomen to reclaim their femininity and sensuality to create deep intimacy. She works with soul-driven female leaders who know that ‘living the dream’ is only as fulfilling as their most intimate relationship, and their impact is only as wide as they are willing to go deep within themselves.

Click to download Melisa’s Emptiness to Intimacy Guide:

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We begin by hearing about Melisa’s definition of codependency. She distinguishes the term through contrasting codependency, independence, and interdependence. “Codependency is when you’re all mashed up with someone and defining your happiness through them.” Ring any bells in your life?

Melisa opens up about codependency in her life, including her estranged relationship with her mother. She reveals how she found out about her husband’s hidden addiction a few years into their marriage and how, through her commitment to healing, she was able to transform her relationship into one with true intimacy.

Melisa defines true intimacy for us as “into me see.” But how come we can’t go the into-you-see-then-into-me-see route that most of us codependents tend to take? Despite it being obvious, Melisa provides such tender care in her explanation as to why we seek intimacy in this round-about and codependent way.

Melisa discusses how codependency is an actual inhibitor of intimacy. Through our codependency, we lose our relationship with ourselves and our relationship with others.

We conclude with Melisa walking us through her four initial steps to fostering intimacy through feeling our feelings. First, sense the emotion in your body. Second, practice curiosity with yourself. Third, practice acceptance. And fourth, provide self-compassion. She walks me through the four steps and I completely bypassed the first step! Of course I did since I’m a healing codependent who’s learning to pay attention to her body.

Melisa provides encouraging words for the 20-year-old codependent version of herself in hopes that it provides encouragement to all of you. It gets better!

Questions for you:

What came up while you heard Melisa describe her take on codependency?
Do you relate to her desire to “learn how to fix my mom” when she started to attend 12-step support groups?
What relationships in your life provide you with true intimacy? Where are you lacking in intimacy in your relationships, including the one you had with yourself?
How can you implement Melisa’s four-step process this week?
Melisa encourages tenderness over and over. How can you practice tenderness with yourself this week?
What comes up while completing Melisa’s Emptiness to Intimacy guide? Click here to download:
Thank you for listening!

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